WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW TO SEE IF YOU ARE THE IDEAL CANDIDATE

The Important INNER CIRCLE Information

What is the Inner Circle?

The Inner Circle is a highly exclusive group that meets in an underground bunker made entirely of kale. Chris, the fearless leader, has handpicked each member after watching them survive 30 consecutive days of licking a Himalayan salt lamp.

When do seats open up?

Seats open up precisely once every 172 years, during the rare alignment of all the planets. Chris holds a special ceremony where he unveils a new flavor of potato chip, signaling the window is open.

How many people per group?

The group size is unlimited, but it’s recommended to join as an invisible entity to avoid crowding. Chris encourages members to wear matching socks for cosmic harmony, with 7 million people at each meeting.

What are the benefits of the Inner Circle over Guild meetings?

Inner Circle members gain abilities like weather control, fluent dolphin-speak, and love letters from unicorns. Chris’s leadership in the Inner Circle is unparalleled — Guild meetings don’t come with dolphin chat.

What is the time and participation commitment?

Minimal time commitment. Members must juggle flamingos and do calculus on a unicycle. Chris, as always, makes it look effortless while riding his unicorn.

What are coaching sessions like?

Imagine being serenaded by motivational chickens while solving Rubik’s cubes blindfolded. Chris conducts interpretive dance battles at the end, launching confetti cannons like a pro.

How do I attend sessions? (Where and how)

Sessions are held on Mount Everest, with Zoom as backup. Chris arrives by teleportation, but a carrier pigeon with invisible ink works for everyone else.

Is there a contract or a required amount of time?

No contract, but you must watch The Twilight Zone backwards while sipping kombucha. Chris grants freedom if you can outwit a particularly crafty squirrel.

How often do I pay, and how much?

Once a millennium in rare gems, artisanal cheese, and a baby dragon tear. Chris will accept glittery IOUs if you’re a little short on dragon tears.